A mothers love

I was recently struck with the realization that my goal is to serve women by encouraging them to proactively plan for their futures. The book I wrote Stop, Take a Breath, and Reassess Life provided a bit of a description of my experience of having to deal with my husband being diagnosed with a spinal tumor and having to undergo emergency spinal surgery. People that aspire to make a difference in peoples lives always seem to be able to point to a time in their lives or an experience in their past that was the starting point of when the decided to start on a meaningful journey. Mine was my husband’s surgery, I went through a lot of growth and had to look within in order to get through the experience. My faith, my family, and my friends were strong pillars that provided me with the strength I needed. It was an experience I will always be grateful for as it launched my writing career, here I am three years on, sharing my story in order to encourage women to proactively plan for their futures. You might ask yourselves why I have chosen this path, believe you me I have asked myself the same question and I will try and explain myself.

Women disproportionately take on the burden of caring for the family, whether it be caring for their parents, their spouses or their children. This is the culture, this is the expectation and because of this women are the ones that end up spending less of their working years actually working and as such save less towards retirement. Women are also paid less than their Male counterparts and as such have a disadvantage from the get go. Yes this is a generalist view but you just have to google pay inequality and you will get a lot of statistics on the actual figures. I believe that sharing these facts can go a great way to educating women that they have to start early in planning for their futures. Prior to my husband’s surgery I never really worried about these things, I wasted so much time in my twenties not signing up for retirement accounts and not bothering with educating myself. I was basically following the herd. I was doing what others around me were doing, how was I to know better. Who worries about the future, well a lot of people do, because whether we like it or not we are getting older and we can not predict what tommorow will bring but we sure as hell can prepare for it. Let me share a story that might help you see why its important for you as a woman to plan ahead.

My son moved out last week, he left the nest, although he is only 80 or so miles away he has actually moved out. This is a positive thing right, he is getting independent, working, paying bills and following his dreams. I am excited for him but I am also reflective. I have raised this young man to this point in his life but he will always be my baby. A mothers love never dies, mothers are the first to run to your side when things go wrong. When I was in college living my best days ever, I got into a car accident, I knew I was screwed because I shouldn’t have been off campus in the first place. Thankfully my injury wasnt that severe , a dislocated shoulder, and a few bruises. My dad was livid his initial reaction was to let me stew it out, he even discouraged my mom from coming out to see me. But guess what … a mothers love…. my mom took the first opportunity to drive up to be by my bedside while I was in the hospital. This is just how caring women are, they have that nurturing nature in them, they always put other before themselves. In the end who is there for them. How many times have you had to take time off work to care for someone at home? This is the reason why you need to take the time to seriously start planning ahead for your future. Are you putting aside enough? Are you following your dreams and living your purpose, if not this is the day to start. Starting is easy , it just begins with a decision. Women tend to outlive their spouses and that is why I so feel passionately connected to sharing my message. Start planning for your futures, I may be preaching to the choir but if you feel that somehow this message resonates with you at some level keep following. I am going to keep harping on.

Have a great week and always remember that mothers love.

With Love and Gratitude

Dr Fatsani Dogani

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