trying to find a new normal

Hello All

Do I address the big elephant in the room and address the fact that I havent blogged since August of 2020. Well I supposee it is worth spending some time on it. 2020 is the year that I call the ghost year. I was in a fog for most of that time period. We had covid, and as an ICU nurse who was in the midst of the pandemic and all that it entailed I had to find a way of protecting myself, going into my shell appeared to be the most appropriate thing to do, It was hard to deal with all that was required of me in dealing with a pandemic caused by a disease we had little knowledge about. Most of the initial treatments were experimental we were hoping things would work, and we saw way too many people die.

The pandemic brought so many innovations due to neccessity. We had to figure out ways of caring for these multiple patients we were caring for and I have never seen better teamwork than that I experienced and continue to experience with my curent team. I count myself blessed to have gone through the expereince with my MICU family. A brotherhood/ sisterhood was formed between healthcare professionals we were brothers and sisters in combat dealing with a common enemy. I have never seen a group of dedicated professionals give their all. We kept showing up for each other despite our own misgivings about potentially taking this disease home to our families, we were there when we were needed. I went through a lot emotionally due to the unkown, and I know I am not the only one. We had no idea when this would end we had to take each day as it came and we had to deal with so many sick patients. In ICU terms when someone is considered sick they are really sick and requiring a lot of support for their different body organs. Sick is SICK is sick…. we saw a lot of people that died , we saw a lot of people that just crumped and lost their fight or their bodies just didnt have it in them to keep going. Covid was a monster those that did not have to see its ugly head affect their loved ones should count themselves blessed. I am sad to see that there is a vast majority of these individuals who continue to believe that covid is not real.

Those that had to go through the experience of loosing loved ones to covid or caring for covid patients in the capacity most healthcare workers had to, I stand with you. That is the reason I was absent from this blog. Although writing is my escape , I just did not have it in me to keep writing. As covid numbers have continued to decline and I see the same reflected in our ICU unit I feel that I am in a better place to start blogging again. The beauty in a personal blog is that I get the opportunity to control the content I create and when I create it so here is to a new chapter as I attempt to get back into a new normal whatever that might look like. My purpose and goal remains the same… I aim to empower women to live more intentional lives.

With Love and Gratitude

Fatsani