Personal Growth

Over the past number of years I have been on a personal growth journey. I had the fortunate opportunity to attend a live Tony Robbins event courtesy of my very good friend Jude. I will forever be grateful as I was exposed to the personal development realm. I have made it my life’s mission to grow and I hope others will follow. The number one takeaway has been and will remain the fact that we have to have personal responsibility. In order to grow we have to be willing to accept that there is a need for growth. There was a point in time where for the longest time I blamed the outside world for where I was. This is what the majority of us do, we become victims of our circumstances and this then paralyzes us into thinking that this is the only life we can have. Well I am here to offer a different perspective. There is more to life than our current circumstances, if we only dare to dream, but alas we don’t even ask ourselves the right questions. Are we doing what we love ? Are we doing our life’s purpose? Michelle Obama in her book “Becoming Michelle Obama” is a perfect example of why we shouldn’t settle and why we need to ask ourselves the deep questions about what our life’s purpose is. For the longest time I just survived, I had family responsibilities, a job , a mortgage, a comfortable life. Somehow I knew there was more to life. I started asking myself if this was it…. Tony Robbins made me realize that there was more to life and that it was up to me to chase it. I have since written a book, started several businesses, and traveled to several countries. The only way I was able to start asking more of myself was through personal development. I took the time to start growing. I share some of the strategies I have used.

You Tube Videos

You don’t have to spend much to get great personal development content from the internet. You tube videos have been my saving grace, as I have been able to learn from the biggest names in personal development. Its easy to find the messages that resonate with you and that meet you where you are, but key to all this is for you to realize it all falls on you. You have to be ready for the growth otherwise you are just wasting your time.

Books

As the years have gone by , I am reading more and more personal development books. Personal development has to become a lifestyle. You have to live and breath personal development. It takes effort and persistence, it’s not a one day type of deal. By this I mean you cant just read one book and think that is it, you have to constantly feed your mind so that you learn to function at a higher level while requiring more from yourself. We function at only 10% of our brains capability, this is according to Earl Nightingale (you can find him on you tube) can you imagine what you could achieve if you just pushed yourself that little bit more. Amazon has an abundance of personal development books. You just have to decide you want more for yourself and start feeding your mind with the right content. My goal for this year is to read 40 personal development books a big jump from the 15 I read last year. I am half way through the year and I am on book 15, I don’t know if I will achieve the goal but it keeps me going, and I am increasing my knowledge daily.

Challenges

I am signed up to so many personal development groups and they regularly run challenges. I have thus far participated in 2 book challenges, Think and Grow Rich and As a man thinketh. This entailed commiting to these challenges by reading and watching video content that thought content from these books. Im I now expert (not really) but I now know more than I did yesterday and if I go back and re read these books I know I will be able to have multiple new aha moments.

Your crowd.

By this I mean the people you hang around with. Are they bringing you up or are they bringing you down. There is a saying that states, you are the average of the people you hang around with. If you surround yourself with successful hard working people you will find yourself aspiring to become more like them. However if you hang around with the victims, or those that are unwilling to take responsibility for their lives and futures , you will find yourself retiring to mediocrity. You will become the status quo the 95% of people that let life happen to them.

I can go on and on but I feel these 4 points are enough to get you thinking about starting your personal development journey should you decide to start i.

With Love and Gratitude

Dr Fatsani Dogani

Where does the time go…

I always say time flies and it does. When we are busy just doing stuff without purpose we dont realize how quickly time flies. I am talking mainly in the context of goals unfulfilled. Have you ever written down goals with the thought that you will get to them and then realize that 6 months have gone by and you have done nothing related to your goals.? Well that’s what has happened to me. Last year I started off this blog with the best intentions. I even persistently posted every week for a while there. Then life happened, I suddenly became a very busy person. I was enrolled in an entrepreneurial training program, I took on some extra responsibilities at work,I partnered with my sister on a business, and I started taking my fitness journey seriously. This made it easier for me to slack and ignore the blog and the reason I started it became blurred and it was easy to just ignore it.

However I recently enrolled in several challenges this year, one was a Think and Grow Rich Learning challenge through empowered living, the other was As a man thinketh also through empowered living and most recently I participated in Brandon Burchards Transformation week. In all these there was an underlying theme that forced me to question my lifes purpose. I’m I living my life with purpose? I’m I doing something that aligns with my passions? This then led me to revisit my interests and passions to see what makes me happy. I have always escaped the passion question in the past. I love my job, I love my family but I had to ask what are my passions. I started asking myself what brought me joy in that list was travel, teaching, writing and reading. I therefore came back to blogging. I like to blog or share my views and I have written a book. I then asked myself what was my initial goal in writing the book. Why did I bother writing and self publishing my book. At the depth of it all is my desire to share my story in the hopes of educating women.

My husband had to undergo emergency surgery that we were both unprepared for and we are only now recovering from. I want to share my story in order to encourage women to be prepared for the unexpected. As nurtures we are disproportionately left responsible for a lot of things and most times we are ill prepared. I would like to share my experience in order to encourage conversations to happen. I have so much to share so why not use my passion for writing and reading to share the message. So I am back with my message and I will use my platform to get my message out. I am no Jada but I will start from somewhere and that is this blog.

Time does fly and as such we have to make sure we are living our time on this earth with purpose. It’s never too late to go back to the drawing board to seek out clarity. What are you passionate about, what are your interests? Is what you do aligned with what makes you happy?

Dont sweat the small stuff

It’s been a while since I have been on this space. Today on mums birthday , I decided to get back into the swing of things.I have been busy in the background just figuring out life. Every so often I go through a growth spurt. Not just physical I am talking about mental and emotional growth as well. I am learning day by day not to take life too seriously. People will read this how they want and that is something I have come to accept and embrace. We are all different beings having been shaped by different environments and experiences. I am more accepting of the fact that people are entitled to their opinions. I recently read the book…dont sweat the small stuff ….its actually a series of books by Richard Carlson and I am going through them slowly. Since reading the first book my outlook on life has changed. I dont feel as stressed as I used to feel. I am generally a laid back kind of person but I feel this book has made me more laid back. What I am learning is that life happens and how you react to it is what determines your stress level. I personally don’t like stress, it’s not worth the stress. Things will go wrong…that’s just life, how you deal with it is really all that matters. Tommorow will still come….you might be broke today but you have the opportunity to change that story. The sun will rise again tommorow, take each day as it comes, dont overthink the present and you definitely cannot predict the future. You can however embrace lifes challenges and push yourself to your limits so that you create the life that you want to create for yourself. Yes it’s all but you…no one else can do it for you. The number one lesson I can share with anyone that wants a shortcut to success is the concept of self responsibility. There is no superhero coming to save you. You are the superhero of your story….that and not sweating the small stuff. You valley is someone else’s peak…there are others out there that have it worse of than you. So what if you didnt like the tone so and so took when they were talking to you…are you seriously going to let that affect your mood for the rest of the day. Dont seat the small stuff, dig deep and follow your dreams. As children we have no inhibitions, but somehow in adulthood society wants to limit our potential by boxing us into what it thinks we should be. Break free and do what you want to do but first…stop sweating the small stuff.

Hello September

Hi there

Yes I have been gone a while but that’s okay. I am out here trying to live my best life now while also ensuring my mental health stays intact. Being the multifaceted person that I am my attention gets pulled in all sorts of directions and I have learned to let some things slip. It doesn’t mean I am a quitter, it just means I have become great at realizing it’s ok to take a break every now and again. Since my last posting I have been busy working on several projects and I even got a vacation in. My hubby and I went to Miami for my very dear friends 40th birthday celebration. It was fun and really worth while. I came back rejuvenated and ready to work hard so that I can create more opportunities for such breaks in the future. I therefore decided to also take a break from the blog as I was participating in yet another self improvement challenge. What I have learned is that learning is an ongoing process. We are never done, I learn something new every single day and that is a wonderful experience. I am not ashamed to admit I am a work in progress, I know more than I knew yesterday but I can truthfully acknowledge that there is plenty more for me to learn.

I have become so intrigued by the growth mindset realm that I am constantly trying to feed my mind with inspiring content. I am also actively trying to avoid negativity in my life because I have learned how draining it can be. Negativity just sucks the life out of me so I would rather focus on the joy of the moment. I know there are times when it seems as though nothing is going right but I have to always remind myself that the day will end and the sun will rise again. I have to tell myself that it is a season that will pass. This type of thinking gives me peace and allows me to think beyond my current situation. I can think back to previous times when situations might have seemed unbearable and come back to the present and see that I am still standing , this makes me realize that the season will pass and that the feelings are just temporary. I feed my mind daily with positive content whether it be reading a blog, or a book or watching a YouTube video I get content wherever I can. Talking to others of the same mindset also helps a whole bunch too. I actively avoid negativity and I am learning how to say NO without feeling guilty. If something looks like it will not bring me any value I happily say NO. My sanity is my priority.

I am excited by what this month has in store for me. I am off to Kigali and then Arusha for a few days. I have been enrolled in an entrepreneurial training and I am learning so much. Imagine a group of 200 hundred African women taking part in a training where we learn from each other. We are headed to Kigali for a summit and an opportunity to put names to faces and network with like minded people.

I am on a count down as I leave in 2 weeks time flying through Amsterdam so I will get to buy lots of European chocolates. I am going to share my adventures during my week away. I hope you will join me as I go along.

With Love and Gratitude

Dr Fatsani Dogani

Whats a Julying

What’s going on with your July, mine is going great as you know from my last blog post I am on a 30 day optimism challenge where I wake up and list down 5 things I am grateful for and 5 things I am optimistic about for that day. So far I feel it’s making a a positive difference in my life, I have started seeing some progress in the different life categories of my life. Small steps but positive moves all the same.

My July has also been interesting to say the least, in case you didn’t know, I am a huge Lebron James fan. So yes, I dont support a team but I support an individual basketball player and I am okay with that. I mean the guy is a supernatural freak of nature. But for real the reason why I love Lebron James so much is because of his work ethic. You have to acknowledge and give credit where credit is due. Those that hate keep hating, but given similar circumstances I would also seek out the opportunities that would bring me the high chances of success. Especially when I know that I am putting my heart and soul into something.

This will always be a subject of contention but such is life. I know I am being true to myself and my values and belief system are at peace. People are entitled to disagree with me and I am okay with that. I have learned that our life experiences shape our opinions, and with each layer of growth a certain amount of openmindedness is birthed. I am willing to hear people out and might even be persuaded one way or another, it just has to make sense to me.

This unlike most of my posts is a random philosophical post that just came out of me. I will randomly think out loud and that is part of the growing process. What do you do to let your thoughts out. I am finding blogging to be a great outlet for my random thoughts.

With love and gratitude

Dr Fatsani Dogani

Hello July

As I grow older I tend to find that the days are passing by so fast. Can you believe the year is halfway done. How are you responding to this news. Are you down in the dumps about it because you are not where you want to be with your goals? Or are you being optimistic about life and looking at this midway point as the time to reset, reboot, and restate your goals for the rest if the year? I am choosing optimism, and that is my key word for the rest of the year. No one said that goal setting is limited to the beginning of the year you can set goals any time of the year. But bear in mind goals require action top put them into motion.

If you are one that set your goals at the beginning of the year and find you have not made any movement towards them you need to look back over the past 6 months and ask yourself whether you took any action towards them. Writing down your goals is just a small step in the journey. You also need planning and action, but then again dont get too bogged down with planning either sooner or later you have to take action. Otherwise you might find yourself in the same place you are today.

Two strategies I can share and that I am currently using are mind mapping or brain dumping and a daily gratitude/optimism challenge. I will briefly explain how I am doing these.

1. Mind Mapping

I am using this strategy to help me break down my goals into small manageable chunks. Let’s take finances as a broad category. Under finances you might have smaller goals attached such as pay off credit card, save more money, budget better, increase my income. Stated this way these goals have a high likelihood of staying on paper. The first step to creating an achievable goal is making it specific and time sensitive. So given these goals I would state then as

  • I want to pay off my $500 credit card balance by the end of October
  • I want to have saved $1000 by December 31st 2018
  • I want to do a monthly household budget for the remainder of the year
  • I want to increase my income by $250 a month

You can then create a mind map with finances as the central theme and the required outcomes can stem from them. You can then create a diagram as I have done to show you an example. You will then be able to think through what steps you can take to get to each desired outcome. As you go through each step you can mark of each completed task. The fun part about mindmapping is that you can use it to create your daily to do lists too.

2. Gratefulness and Optimism Challenge

I recently started on this challenge and it will do wonders for your life. Start each day by writing down 5 things you are grateful for. There are so many things to be grateful for that I feel we forget to take the time to acknowledge our blessings due to the fast paced way we live our lives. Once you have written down what you are grateful for, use your mind map to identify certain tasks you can work on for the day and incorporate them into your optimism list. Given your financial goals ahead you might want to include today I am optimistic about updating my resume, researching different budgets, Reviewing my bank statement etc etc heres an example you can use

Today I am grateful for

  • My God who heals me
  • My husband
  • My kids
  • My parents
  • My extended family

Today I am optimistic about

  • Working on the monthly budget
  • Researching business ideas
  • Reading 2 chapters from the book I am reading
  • Setting up direct payments for my Bill’s

Remember these are just examples that you can use for the different categories of your life. Try this strategy out as you continue with the rest of the year and let me know how you get on.

With love and gratitude

Dr Fatsani Dogani

What I learned this past week

As human beings we are capable of learning and absorbing so much information but unfortunately the majority of us are unwilling or unable to make the necessary small adjustments that help us become better individuals.

I am the first to acknowledge that I dont know everything, added to that my mind isn’t what it was years ago. I forget stuff, math homework with the kiddos usually adds to my awareness that I have forgotten half the things I learned while I was in school but that’s not to say I should resign to the “I dont know corner”. Small steps are all it takes to add to our knowledge base. It might be reading a blog post today, or watching a you tube video tommorow. There are so many opportunities for us to learn. The libraries have so many books that we can take advantage of.

My point in writing this blog is to say we can not continue to use lack of knowledge as an excuse not to create the life that we want or to follow the dreams that we want.

You want to travel but don’t know how, start by figuring out what it would require and the steps you will need to take to get there. Don’t resign to the “I can’t pile”. The fun is in in figuring it all by out putting in the hustle and enjoying the fruits.

Till next time, enjoy your week.